An Envelope full of half-written memoirs

When no one protects you I was given strong words too young.  “I hate you,” spit between the thin lips of my aunt, whose blown pupils delighted the car ride between towns with absurd humiliation.  Hills passed in the window behind her, fading in and out of shadow paths cast by the setting sun. HerContinue reading “An Envelope full of half-written memoirs”


Yesterday The biting wind chill blew leaves against my window and the tapping reminded me of the nighttime horror so long ago. Of lying awake in my bed too afraid to move as you climbed up the stairs at the crest of dawn, sniggering under your breath.  Then the way you lied, two-faced folly, waterContinue reading “Passing”

Bourbon, Time, and Roses

Banned “I wake up in an abyss,” is the sentence that got me in trouble.  It was the unfiltered thoughts of someone with depression.  It was the sentence that embarrassed me.  It was the thing that told me no one would help me.  It was my punishment for not lying about how I would overcomeContinue reading “Bourbon, Time, and Roses”

I hope you’re miserable

Saturday I remember Halloween being on Saturday in the year of everything going swell and nothing ever going wrong 2020.  And every year I stand in front of the mirror pulling out clothes in my wardrobe that have not seen the light of day since they hung on a rack at the store.  And sinceContinue reading “I hope you’re miserable”


Weakness is the shallow bruises Pale beneath the facade of your character; It is in the way the cruel smirk you wear Cannot hide beneath your tears And the way it stretched uncontrolled, manically thin When you hurt me And weakness is the depth of your soul Unable to carry the wisp of truth TheContinue reading “Weakness”

Status check- probably not

Self-destruction I love to indulge in self-destructive behaviors by scrolling through the “about me” pages on other people’s blogs, instagram, and magical link-post websites just to remind myself of the only accomplishment I have to date, which is living with two different types of depression.  But even as I read through other people’s accomplishments, IContinue reading “Status check- probably not”

A thought on “Validation” in internet use

I hear the word validation a lot, thrown around casually, or not so casually in conversations centered around trauma. While I am not trying to downplay the importance of others recognizing and accepting the truth of their perception of events, I have issues with the oversimplification of the feelings centered around the term validation, andContinue reading “A thought on “Validation” in internet use”

Burn to nothing

There are many interesting studies that delve into the emergence of anxiety and depression in early childhood, ending in the finding that trauma informs the subconscious or inner child to later develop mental disorders.  Others conclude that the seed is within us from the day we are born. The debate warring and wrestling with theContinue reading “Burn to nothing”