you do not get to mourn

You do not get to mourn

by the forgotten grievances

or the bruises you left; 

and the storied challenges

dusted by psychological amnesia, 

and gas lit stoves to brighten the dark,

what you’ve caused 

Is but the abuse embedded in yourself

reflected onto others

You do not get to mourn

Snakes do not shed tears,

but crocodiles do by the watershed, 

sleek from their backs, 

And taken a vein, ripped from their spines, 

Their cold blooded nature 

you celebrate with laughter

as words heavy about pain, 

The antagonizing way you did before he died, 

And how dare you mourn

my best friend as you abused him 

the same way you did I, 

the way you put his name in your mouth

to swallow the benefits of sympathy turned money, 

Is but the shallow grave you left him in; 

If one day “sorry” entered your vocabulary

rested on the crests of letters with no foothold, 

It wouldn’t withstand the weight 

of unknowing you for so long of a barren 22 years, 

to have little to work with in the empty halls

And to fabricate nothing from the semblance of shadow; 

And pity be the embarrassment you’ll find

When you mourn him.